Terms & Conditions | The master ledger
the rules of the ledger
'Terms and Conditions' I know it's boring, but I strongly suggest you read this. I know it's long; I had to write it. If you choose not to read it, and something happens, and you come to me saying, "I didn't know!"—I am within my rights to tell you to go forth and multiply in short jerking motions.
Force Majeure (No, not force manure! The horse won't thank you)
If shit happens that I have no control over and nothing to do with, it’s not my fault. This covers unforeseen disasters that prevent me from fulfilling our contract. Examples include:
- Getting run over in my living room: An unfortunate, unlikely, and uncontrollable event. Definitely not my fault.
- The venue burning down: Not my fault (what’s that smell of petrol?). If the building ceases to exist, I can’t take photos in it.
- Other catastrophes: Any event truly beyond my influence that renders service impossible. I am not a magician; I cannot conjure coverage out of thin air.
The "Permanent Departure" Clause
Should I shuffle off this mortal coil, all deals are off. My obligations under this contract end immediately. You are entitled to a refund of any deposits paid, but please, save your breath—you can't sue a ghost. Furthermore, in the case of my shuffling off, any complaints should be directed to Messers De'ath & FOR K Ough.
Liability
I am a photographer, not a miracle worker. I am not responsible for the weather, the venue's incompetence, or the unpredictable behaviour of your guests. If something goes wrong outside of my control, I am not liable for the fallout.
ownership of intellectual property
I retain full copyright ownership of all images captured during our engagement. These images are for your personal use and enjoyment. You are not purchasing the copyright itself, and you may not sell or license these images to third parties—publications like Hello! magazine, for example—without my express written consent.
If you wish to facilitate a commercial feature, you must come through me. I own the RAW FILES; I own the right to the publication.
Quality Assurance & Editorial Control
I am a photographer, not a content factory. I reserve the absolute right to withhold or discard any images that do not meet my exacting standards for composition, lighting, and technical execution. You are hiring me for my eye and my final product; you will receive a curated selection of work that represents my best, not an indiscriminate dump of every frame I captured.
acceptance
By booking my services, you accept these terms. If you try to argue these points after the fact, you'll be directed back to this ledger. It's not personal; it's just how the business survives.